February 5, 2010 § Leave a comment
What should I wear to work today? Is it going to rain? What if it’s cold? What if I wear something for the cold and it gets hot? Sneakers or flip-flops? If I wear flip-flops what if one of them breaks?
Okay, so maybe I’m not that bad. Still it seems like in my personal relationships I’m always trying to figure out what’s what before it ever happens and I think that’s where I’m coming up with issues in my life.I need to relax, take a deep breath and just let things happen. The problem is that I’ve never been one to do that. I get wound up too tight and when I start to feel like I lose my sense of control over things I panic.
I wonder where this need to control comes from. Obviously it’s harmful to my relationships. I would give anything just to be able to say “You know what? It doesn’t even matter.” …and mean it.
If you’re not familiar with Rodin’s sculpture “The Thinker” it is a bronze man, sitting with head perched on his fist. He looks to be struggling a great internal battle. It is often used to represent Philosophy. It’s also often the way I sit. No, I’m not a philosopher. I’m an over-analyzer. But still, I can relate.
I’m challenging myself to stop thinking and start doing more often. Who knows if it’ll work… but it’s worth a shot.